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CHRiSTMAS 2010 ♥

Good Evening :) Just got home from Taguig, so much toxicated and I still have a cough >.< Christmas last night went fun, the party, the foods and everything. My Tito served as our clown he is so funny :D He hosted the party. There are a lot of foods but I don’t eat much, I concentrated on eating fruits >:P (Diet neh?)

My cousins were too bully, they are so much pasaway. I reminisced my childhood when they asked me to play ‘Nanay Tatay’, ‘Taguan’ and playing Dolls.

Lols I joined three games out of eight. The Kalamansi Relay (we won!) and then my cousin forced me to do the left two games= Singing and Dancing. Imagine I sung even I have cough? But I liked it too because the prize is P500.00!! But then I didn’t won they told me that the criteria is the worst voice ever and that is Ate Len >:D. I danced just nothing, just to participate (I don’t actually dance). Gift Giving is the most exciting part. I received three gifts which I didn’t actually expect. :P

Anyway here are my cousins (father side)


PS:Late Post :P

AND THE REASON is YOU :(

Grabe, alam mo ba napaka martir ko daw. Malamang hindi mo yun alam, kasi kahit ako hindi ko yun napapansin. Mga malalapit kong kaibigan bukod saiyo napapansin, sinasabi nila na I give you too much of my love. Yung tipong para saakin nalang, ibibigay ko pa sayo. Yung isasakripisyo ko ang lahat kahit sila pa, para lang saiyo. Kaya ko daw ibigay lahat ng kailangan mo, gagawan ko pa ng paraan para sayo na hinding hindi ko naman nagawa sakanila. Grabe hindi ko yun alam, ginagawa ko nalang kasi ikaw, kasi mahal kita. OO, kaibian mo lang ako. Magkaibigan lang tayo, special yung treatment ko sayo kasi bestfriend ang turing ko, pero ewan ko ba kung ano talaga ang posisyon ko jan sa buhay mo. Simpleng kaibigan na kagaya ng iba, ay hindi pala! Least sa iba. Alam mo ba na nag seselos ako? OO totoo yun. Hindi ko lang masabi sayo, hindi lang ako makapag reklamo kasi ano nga lang ba ako sayo dba? Baka pag sinabi ko sayo ung nararamdaman ko, ikaw pa ang magalit, ako pa ang mag sorry at malala baka mag away pa tayo. Masakit kasi sobra na kitang pinahahalagahan pero wala parin akjo sayo. Hindi ko naman hinihingi na maging tayo, ayoko noon never kong ginusto, ang sakin lang naman sana kagaya din ako ng iba mong 'kaibigan' na sobra mong pinapahalagahan. hindi ko alam pero sa tingin ko wala lang talaga ako sayo. pero iniisip ko nalang na pantay pantay kami jan sa puso mo. Kasi pag mag kasama naman tayo, inaasikaso at inaalala mo rin naman ako kahit papano. Hindi ko lang makita ung ginagawa mo na katulad sakanila. IKAW ang dahilan ng kalungkutan at pag iisip ko gabi-gabi at araw araw. Ikaw ang nagpapatibok ng puso ko at ikaw rin ang nagbibigay ng dahilan para mapawi ang kalungkutang nadadama ko. Ang maging masaya ay dahil sayo, sa maliit mong paraan at pag alala lahat ng mabibigat na dahilan ay tila napawi na. WALA NA un ang pinakamahirap doon. Hindi kita maiwasan o malayuan man lang dahil natutunan ko na ang mamuhay ng kasama mo. Mamuhay sa likod mo, taga sunod nag mamahal ng palihim. Kaibigan lang kita paano pa kaya kung tayo? Edi lalo pa akong nabaliw?! Nakakainis mahal na mahal kita kapatid ko. Hindi kita mahal as may pagnanasa mahal na mahal kita ng may pagpapahalaga. Sana makuntento nalang ako kung ano ang kaya mong ibigay sakin. SANA. SANA hanggang sana nalang ako. :( WAHHH message of my heart kainis.

Anyway mahal na mahal parin kita kahit anong mangyare. Hay SMILE

S.M.I.L.E ♥

Sitting next to you doing absolutely nothing means absolutely everything to me I LOVE YOU BUDDY ! ♥

ANTi-STRESS ♥

Too much paper works, busy schedule, sleepless nights, school toxics and other things are getting along my way. URGHHH! They made me so stressful. Thank God, I still find time to pause and have a break. I have this stress relevant and it is so effective. I was like in heaven whenever I have this. XD Me is very much voracious! OOH lala, it's SNICKERS >:P I love it!

CARELESS? : CARE MUCH! ♥

Oooh before anything else, HAPPY DECEMBER 1ST blog! :) Christmas is coming. I feel the ambiance.! So much excited.

Anyway, this morning I hoped for a better day, which I think came true. :D I've been happy this whole day, except for one which irritate me. Hmm let's not talk about it. Cause I am HAPPY, yeah you read it right! I AM H-A-P-P-Y :D We took a practice this afternoon at Rica's Place for our music video as quarterly for Computer, I guess. Weel then I expect not much from it neither this happiness I feel right now. I thought I'm gonna mourn because of the scenes we need to make (jealousy reasons). But then all of that was nothing. Well it goes like this. 1st, I don't know but my kapatid James is super kind to me, wahh we shared a bread, he said "Hati tayo, kasi wala ka." Hmm and then when we are on our way home, I am about to hit by a motor, and then he said "kapatid tabi!" Well I didn't see that motor so, fine. Then few steps there was a car and I am also about to heat. It's like inch a way. he scream at me (in a nice way, I think. luls) "kapatid, ano ba, tabi". And then he invites all of us to have ice cream break. We planned to do that at 7/11 store. And way to the store, we stayed for a while. I don't know what cross to my mind, when I saw the traffic man, and then I corss my way without knowing that there's a vehicle beside me. He really scream like a "wooooo" he said "Ano ba kapatid, muntik kana masagasaan blah blah blah." I ignored him and made some smirk. He was really concerned at me :D (kiligs) and then right away at 7/11, he was making a litany at me. Saying that I should be careful. And then up to the jeepney and so whatever. (I'm such a dumb ass streetwalker! but then it was a sweet side of him :P) When I am about to go down the jeepney he uttered his last words before we separate ways: "ooh ingat kapatid, maya masagasaan ka pa jan" I laughed at him again and saying "bye!" waving my head signing that I will never be hit by anything/anyone. :) At home, I received a GM from him. I was special mentioned there stating ".kapatid!woi! 3 beses kna muntek msgasaan ah.sows!kundipa cgawan.magingat nga." that! :D haha and I replied "magiingat na po ;P Sorry :)" and then that. This is how my heart melts. and this is why I love my best friend so much. He is there for me at my stupidest acts. I love to be with him even though sometimes there's a depression. Hmm but that would be all nothing when something like this happens :) - I got Online in facebook a while ago. We took a little chat. About assignment in chemistry and then suddenly he changes topic and turns into this. :
AWWWW touched :DDDDDD ---- I LOVE YOU KAPATID.no one can separate us. no one can take away me to you. and you to me. just when rest in peace do it so. ;)) ILOVE YOU

IN PAiN :(

Jealous of the girls whom you are with whenever I'm not around. jealous of the girls whom you cared for a lot. Jealous of them. OHHHHH FUCK this LIFE. I am really in pain because of the jealousy brought to me of you hanging with other girls. I know I don't have any right because I'm just a friend, we're not in a relationship but this really bother me. i think of you everyday and night. Even in dreams, you are there. You're so special to me to feel this way. You to me are everything. But me to you is nothing. Hypocrite isn't it? I want to let go of this feeling but somehow i just can't let you go. I don't know my life without you. RUINED maybe. So what am I supposed to do? KiLL me now. It's just like seeing you with others, it's like the same. :(


So much SAD. PLEASE good vibes come to me? PLEASE

WiSH I COULD BE THE ONE ♥

WEEK OF HAPPiNESS ♥

I am so happy this week. I felt so special because of what things brought me. I am with people whom I cared of and love so much entirely my life. Of course one of those is James. I think he's the only reason why I do things, why I am happy. I don't know what it is but, I feel so much special whenever I am with this person. But I guess I am not falling in love with him just what everyone may think. HE is just SPECIAL and I don't wanna lose him, I mean I don't know my life if there's no James with it.

Anyway, My November 20 went great. Though it's perfectly tiring and a haggard day for me. So 20 is the date I set to be representative for Reuel. It's like our monthsary, should I say anniversary? for I've been celebrating it for almost three years?! But then he seems no idea about it so let's left it to me. Morning this day, around 5:30am to 8:00am I made our first video project. My partner is none other than my Kapatid James. After that I prepared myself because SC needs to go to school to serve as guide for the dance troupe. Our teachers are not around so we our tasked to do their obligations for awhile. After 3-4 hours guarding them, we got home. Yeah WE, I am with Kapatid, it's around 12:00nn and we need to finish at least our second video out of five -__- It took hours and I am happy even if we're not talking too much. And then Rheinalee went in our house, we will be heading to Ma'am Jody's house (it's her birthday today!) and yeah even we have schedule at 6pm(Jamboree till 7am next day) we went to her house and party party. I am so happy when I got there. Foods are not many as it is but I love the chicken served in front of me. And then the big deal there is, Ma'am Jody's nephew is some kind of a "oooh lala" He so appealing to my eyes and there comes a time that we share a stare to each other. I glimpse every second whenever he's not looking at me. XD And then time pass by. we need to go home. We're late for the 6pm call time. Kapatid and I went to grocery to buy some stuff need in our Jamboree. I took a bath that made me so mabagal kumilos. And then someone texted me that Rheinalee is alreadt with them. Ending?! James and I we're left out. This is so made me smile like this :D -- Kapatid fetch me up in our house. OOH lala that's so sweet, for me. HAHA and then we took our journey in Sienna College (where Jamboree is to be held at). All in all, the Jamboree is fun. Kapatid and I we're tibe mate. "team yellow-sinag" I befriend to other schools and a lot of activities happened. My soul finds rest in spirit of Jesus. I reminisced moments and cherished it. We have a mass 12am. HAHA though I was so sleepy, still I enjoyed it a lot. Tiring but fun! :D

YOU AND I♥

ViCE VERSA :(

HELL iN HAPPiNESS ♥

My title is so contrary isn't it?

Anyway, my morning isn't good. I know we're OK but he doesn't give damn on me. We're just like 'deadma' to each other. I'm not with him during recess. He's with our other friends and so I am. The fucking irritating truth, he is with SOMEONE whose taking advantage because we're not ok. And it really kills me to see that. I ate my meal with Tito Patrick. I lose my appetite. I am still depress. I hate how a little misunderstanding can ruin my whole WORLD. They went up earlier than us, and when I'm in the classroom he is looking for Kenneth and then he saw me. HE said "May meetint mamaya" and then switch glance to other thing. Can't focus on things I am up to. During our chemistry class, our teacher is commenting about her penmanship. She said that it wasn't nice and the Kapatid comment like this "alam mo na ung feeling ma'am? kung aalipusta mo ung sulat ko" then I know he is staring at me while smiling. I stare back and smile too. I know what he mean. It is Bestfriends instinct ;) But I just ignore that because after our class, I waited for him but he ignore me. Then I got the chance to be with him because of the meeting thing. I told him why he does ignore me all the time and he answered it's because his not in the mood to do it so. After that the real US went back. You know the feeling of being free from all the heartaches, worries and all that. I am HAPPY now. Really really happy. I could die now. :D LOLJK but I felt deep happiness afterwards. He made my day complete.♥

11-12-10

This day is a bit hard for me. The half part of the day went good. We played volleyball(Kapatid and I were Teamates) I'm happy within it though. Suddenly after our school class, Kapatid and I done something (Student Council Thing). -- I don't wanna elaborate things because it drives me crazy. And then we had a misunderstanding :( He is so mad at me. I am scared and i don't know what to do. You know that I don't want anyone to get mad at me esp. HIM! :( But then I got home with super sad feelings. My mom isn't home so I cried a lot. I love him very much. But what can I do? I've done mistake. Moments ago, I texted him and said Sorry, this goes like this: "Kapatid sorry kanina ah. Hindi kita makausap kasi ayoko sabayan yung pagkabadtrip mo. Wag ka na magalit pls?gud nyt" It took me much minutes to send it so. And then I got his reply "Hmm.Forget it" I don't know what he really means and if we're ok. But my feelings are still. SAD! Then I fell asleep. Maybe too much sadness brought me so and too much cry.

THE NEXT DAY: 11/13/10
Ooh, We had a family bonding. I supposed to be happy and enjoy this day but I AM DEPRESS! yes totally depress. Of course because of it again plus the fact that his GM's are making me feel so jealous. (Stating that he loves his GIRL FRIENDS) T.T
(I'll make a story on our bonding next time. If I'm in mood)

11/14/10
CHURCH DAY. I saw him. He served 3rd mass which I also did. During communion, we had an eye-to-eye contact. I saw in his eyes the uncomfortable feelings that he have seen me. :( This made my day more depressing than the other day. I hate the feelings i get. I know that I should forget it because he told me so, but uhhhhhhh IDK.:(
I am still sad. I'm hoping for the better US tomorrow. :(

TEXT ♥

"Sa isang text mo lang, napapawi na lahat ng kalungkutang nadarama ko. lahat ng pait napapalitan ng tuwa. Hay Paano pa ako makakapag move on nyan? Mahal kita yan palagi ang sigaw ng puso ko, pero sa tuwing nasasaktan ako sa mga ginagawa mo, gusto ka ng kalimutan ni isip ko. Ikaw ang dahilan ng aking pagluha, ngunit ikaw rin ang nagbibigay liwanag sa kadilimang aking nadarama,ikaw na nagbibigay ng ligaya't saya. Paano na kung lumbay nalang at mawala ka na? Kaya ko pa kayang harapin ang bukas ng nagiisa?"

FUCK YEAH!. My heart screams. And it only screams and beats for you. How can I move on? How could I if half part of me says I'm better hold on. -____- Please free my heart! Please. I'm in hurt and pain. Because of this shits you've made. I'm sorry I am just inlove with a person who only treats me like a younger sister.! HELL :(

JEALOUS T_T

JEALOUS OF THE GIRL(S) WHO CAUGHT YOUR EYES...

HALLOWEEN iN PAiN

Hi there! November 1! Feels great to have new month. But how can i be happy if my heart is mourning in death? Feels like I was buried with love I felt for this boy which I totally can't seem to move on. I can't let go of him. So this is what I get - SADNESS, PAiN, FRUSTRATiONS. Owww please I want to live simple and happy. Having life easier as it can be. But HOW the HELL can I? If these feelings kills me. Yes I am alive-breathing but this heart of mine-senseless. So hopeless of my situation. Hmm I am hoping for a better life since I turned 15 last October 30. PLEASE? PLEASE? Fuck yeah! Happy Halloween Guys! Happy Mourning on me! >______<.

MOVE ON ♥

"BE WITH OTHERS"

FOREVER WiLL BE

IF ONLY YOU KNEW ♥

FREE MY HEART ♥

I NEED THiS.

MY LiFE ♥

HAVING A GUY BEST FRIEND IS INDEED A BLESSING ... AND I THANK GOD FOR HAVING ONE.

I wish I could see my best friend every day. I don’t want to ever be without him, and I’d be broken if he was taken away from me. I have no idea what I’m going to do when he gets deployed. It makes me sick being away from him for too long. ♥

KAPATiD ♥

In every moment I'm with YOU. My time is worth spent for. :)) I love you Kapatid. ♥

"I'd rather be yo best friend forever than to be your ex-girlfriend."

ME ♥

I'LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU ♥

Hiyiee I saw this while browsing my hompage in Facebook. Hehehe this is quite true. I am the number one who loves Nico Dave. >:D But I think it's everyday not only single day. I mean I always love him. Through good and bad times. :)

DAY 01 - DSSPC

With my Co - CHiSMOSA :)

PHOTO MEMORIES♥

DAY 03

DAY 02

PS: Wala pa yung Day 01. Hindi pa nailalagay sa computer

EiGHT ♥

HAPPY EIGHT KAPATID! I love you. No words are enough to tell you so :) I hope I bring out the best for us. Please remember that I will always be here for you and no matter what happen I'll always love you. I'll give anything you need. All I want is to be beside you, that would be enough so please stay with me :)

LAST DAY:AWARDING DAY (DSSPC 2010)

I didn't win. I lose. I'm a loser. But that is ok I am happy enough with what I have. It's ok. Hmmm I love this day super dooper. The last three days of my stay in the Trade school is good enough to pamper just a bit. Far away from school works and so whatever. I had fun with a lot of our photoshoots. I'll post some of them later. This is much tiring but it is worth it.

I LOVE YOU, WEIRDO ♥

Today is October 4, 2010. I hate this day before for some kinda jealousy reasons. haha. But now it's just a normal day. Well I THOUGHT it was but it came out being REALLY fantastic. I love this day. Super Dooper Good Vibes. Well I came early in school around 5:00am. It was so dark while i walked along the street but I can't feel any fears, I don't say that I'm that brave but I'm just confident that there's nothing going wrong (I always pray to God). i decided to be early for two major reasons : 1.) To copy assignments in Mathematics 2.)To be first in the attendance. AJA! it worked but inspite of all that, I've waited for too long before my acquaintances arrived.

So here are some happenings that made me super smile and kilegness today:

• I COMMANDED C.A.T CADETS ALPHA COMPANY - So do you think that made me happy? ooh well you're wrong. That is so fucking irritating (really) But the most lovely about that is Sir Laurenz Araullo chose me to handle his cadets. hehehehe His the apple of my eye this past few weeks and he is really nice with me. So kiligness, I'm so happy that I'm his choice. I don't know this made me really really happy.
• WE TRAINED FOR DSSPC - Hmm this is great. Though it made us really starving. hehehe Me and Sir Laurenz again trained for the same category: Newswriting. This is awesome we shared one fact. Oooh I'll make kwento, when we've got able to eat, Karen and i was like a patay-gutom. We ordered 1 and 1/2 rice and then we added again another half of rice with viand. This made us laugh looking ourselves whose fucking hungry.
• WEIRDO! (CLIMAX) - Class hours was near to end when Ma'am Jody asked me some favors. I did it and then when I got into our classroom they are all fixed and ready to go home. I went to my bag and was going to fix it, not knowing it was already fixed (I really didn't notice it). And then I heard someone's voice and according to it HE already did fixing my scattered things. When i looked up, I saw my best friend (KAPATID) waiting and staring at me. THIS IS SO SWEET!! anyway I think he did just what I did on his things last time. I also fixed his things when his not around. hehehe It made my heart melt. And some kinda shocked about it. Then they invites to go at the Caballero. I sit in the sixth chair. And as i sipped on my drink, my kapatid is underneath the chair. I don't know what was his doing but he is talking to Nathan. I just ignore it and then suddenly he spoked up and tell me to go down where he was and I did it so. I thought it was nothing and then he asked me to eat ISAW, told him that I do not have any money and i'll just accompany him buying those. He surprised me again! when we reached the store, he lend me 5 sticks of isaw. He said "dalawa sayo, tatlo sakin" and I just stared at him and just replied im "kapatid?? my sakit ka ba??" and he answered me "wala. magkakasakit palang bakit?" I laughed and then I told him that he was too nice that day. he's acting weirdo. Hmm I'm afraid that my tomorrow is not good as today. I'm afraid that despite of all these happiness tomorrow I will feel loneliness, depressed and so whatever. I hope not. I love my kapatid, I love his weirdo acts. That made me happy! :) Goodnight toooooodles

I DO ♥

Today I pampered myself going to the mall with some of my classmates or better saying schoolmates. I was with Dianne and her boyfriend, Popoy and also with Nica - my best companion that day. We didn't spend our time shopping instead we've watched this so-called movie entitled "I DO". I bought a book for my book report, it's from Sophie Kinsella, my favorite author. It's title is REMEMBER ME all about a girl who have lost her memory from 3 years. She had an amnesia, I get interested with it so I bought it. Suddenly I haven't read it by now. I also bought a powder sweet-oh-so-powder. Flavored strawberry. :)

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MOVIE REVIEW

First, ENCHONG DEE is so handsome. hahaha I really love him in this movie, yeah right! I thought I'm well get over with him ( crush ko na sya dati pa) but then seeing him again made me realize that I still love him. His so cute. Erich is so beautiful here.

Second, the movie taught me lessons, it has big impacts on me and I really appreciates each of their characters. Though the movie is funny! :)))))))

Third I like it because it made me cry. All the heartaches I have torn down when I cried.

After we've watched the movie there's a strange girl interviewed me with a lot of questionnaires. I'm on my mood so I entertained her, I got choco mucho dark chocolate after the interview. Enough for now. I'm too tired! Goodnight :*

28

HAPPY TWENTY-EIGHT to me :)) Yah know why it is 28? It's a combination of numbers twenty and eight. It has special meaning. Twenty serves as Reuel and Eight is our monthsary of my guy best friend - kapatid james. They are both special to me so I combined them and 28 formed.

Anyway, this morning made me really nervous. We're on formation when Ma'am Araullo asked for my white handkerchief. I gave her mine and as she walk through I heard someone's voice but i can't understand what it is. That voice is so familiar, I know it's Reuel's. I just ignored it but my feeling is so unexplainable. Afternoon that day, my Papsi told me that Reuel have no handkerchief. She told me that Reuel uses my hanky, and it made me feel "OOH YEAH" my circumstances are true. hahahaha this made my day complete. nyahahaha

FUN DAY: PHOTOSHOOT W/KAREN ♥

This pictures took at Villa Antonio. Family resort of my guy best friend. I love this place, really wonderful

YOU ♥

I want a guy best friend who gets mistaken as my boyfriend. A guy best friend is everything you need. Another boy who makes your life complete. A boy who I can run to when my girl BFFs aren't around. He'll kick my future boyfriend's arse when he makes me cry. He'll make me laugh when there's tears in my eyes. He is immediately my date on special occasions when you're single. Idk why. But I really need a guy best friend. A real guy best friend. I guess I'm in love with my best friend.

I MiSS YOU ♥

Because of the annoying new seating arrangements my life now is miserable being jealous to my kapatid's seat mate. I admit it-I am jealous. I know it's kinda selfish or what can you call it but I supposed to be with their position. I am my kapatid's seatmate I am with him going to comfort room. But now he intend to invite someone to go with him. Unfair?! I don't know. We supposed to talk about something but now it's rare enough. I am sooooooo upset. What the hell I supposed to do? this affects me a lot - I can't focus on my studies and I can't concentrate on what I am about to do. This is bothering! I should not be jealous right? because I am just a friend or something. That's he's life. Annoying!

Lord, Please help me to get along with this hates. Please lead me to good way and so I can do productive with my life. I hope I could study better than before. I promised my kapatid that I will be in the top students again but how should I, if I kept thinking of him and being jealous with people around her? I am being hypocrite dumb ass. -_________-