I'm happy for what happened this day. Yeah it may be simple conversation and everyone can have. But for me it was so, so beautiful conversation I had with him. It was our longest conversation(though it's in a chat) through it all. Kasi alam nyo feeling na lagi nalang iba ung kinakausap nya at take note gustong kausap, then pag nag uusap kami saglit lang. It was always like that. Then ngayon iba alam mo ung nag lalabas kami ng care sa isa't isa, and na appreciate ko pa kasi it was like pinapakita nya na I am so important to him. Kaso after namin nag usap, I felt sadness again, kasi sya ung unang nag end ng conversation.
I reminisced at naalala ko ung nangyari kanina sa church, magka tabi kami sa upuan then nung Our Father na syempre hawak-kamay portion, magka hawak kami, then bumitaw sya for reason kinuha nya ung nahulog na notebook. Naisip ko lang sa friend-relationship namin ngayon, natatakot ako na una syang bumitaw at iwanan nya ako para sa ibang bagay. Pero the good thing after naman nya pulutin ung nahulog na bagay eh, hinawakan nya uli ung kamay ko, which make me realize again na, siguro nga iniwan nya ako para sa isang bagay but babalik padin naman sya sakin no matter what. Ayon naguguluhan nanaman ako sa buhay ko. I want him and I want to be with him every time, kaso hindi pwede kasi nasa iba sya. I'm not jealous pero alam moun hindi ko sya makasama dahil nasa ibang tao sya, kahit na hindi naman sya pag aari nung girl na kasama nya pero binibigay nya ung sarili nya doon sa girl. Which I pity myself. But what can I do, un lang kaya nyang ibigay sakin. At pasalamat nalang siguro ako dahil nabibigyan nya pa ako kahit konti.
Chaka sabi naman nya wag ako bumitaw, dahil hindi nya ako iiwan hanggat kaya nya pa Well magulo man, ito ang buhay ko. It's rude to hear and you'll pity for it but I have to love and I have to treasure it. Cause my life is not that constant, I should learn to love what I have and not expect for things that is not meant for me.
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